Soup In A Bowl

The college football bowl season is upon us, and that means it's time to either laugh at or scratch our heads over why there are so many bowl games, and so many bowl games with ridiculous names. This year there are 34 bowl games played over three weeks from mid-December to early January. You may be somewhat familiar with, or at least have heard of, the more high profile, decades-long running games such as the Rose Bowl, the Sugar Bowl, or the Cotton Bowl.

In recent years there has been a proliferation of new bowl games, and each has to have a sponsor, and, of course, the sponsor wants the game named after them. Consequently, there are some absurdly named games, such as (and to quote Dave Barry, I swear I am not making this up!):

Little Caesar's Pizza Bowl

Meineke Car Care Bowl

Papajohns.com Bowl

That's right - not just Papa John's Bowl, but Papajohns.com Bowl. As if to say, "Hey, we're so prestigious and tony that we have a website!" Well guess what, Papa? I've got my own website! In fact, you're reading it right now. In false, I'm going to create my own bowl game: The Fantastic Foodmagorium Bowl. It will be played in Bangor, Maine each January 2. Kickoff at 8pm.

Really, the Little Caesar's Pizza Bowl? When was the last time you ate pizza out of a bowl? If they're going to name a bowl game after a food product, at least let it be something you usually eat from a bowl. I can't wait until Battle Creek, Michigan hosts the Kellogg's Cold Cereal Eaten Out Of A Bowl. It will pit the seventh-place team from the Western Athletic Conference against the #11 team from the Big Ten. Exciting! (Really, there are eleven schools in the Big Ten Conference.)

Even the traditional games have added the corporate sponsor name to the official title. The Rose Bowl is officially The Rose Bowl presented by Citi. We have the FedEx Orange Bowl and the Nokia Sugar Bowl. The long-running Peach Bowl, played in Atlanta, became the Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl, but that company didn't want peaches crowding out their logo, so now the game is officially sanctioned the Chick-fil-A Bowl.

What do the football players themselves think about all this? Long ago it meant something to play in a big-name bowl game. It was like, "Hey, we played great this year and we get rewarded with an invite to the Peach Bowl." Now the reaction is more like, "Chick-fil-A Bowl? What's that? Is that any different from the EagleBank Bowl?" What if the right tackle is a vegetarian? Is he really going to want to play in the Chick-fil-A Bowl, or the Outback (Steakhouse) Bowl, or the Papajohns.com Meat Lovers Supreme Bowl?

Post Gametime Depression

I enjoy watching sports on TV, but I really can't stand the pre-game, post-game, and color commentary. It's always the same inane editorials about what the team has to do to win, why they didn't win, and obvious breakdown analysis of a play.

For example, here is a typical pre-game show parlance from a recent NFL broadcast:

Dick: Well, Boomer, what are the keys to the game for the Eagles?

Boomer: Well, Dick, I think that if the Eagles score more points than the Giants, then they have a pretty good shot at winning this game. They have to run the offense, play some defense, essentially play a football game by the rules, but play better than the Giants.

Dick: Well said, Boomer.

During the game, the color commentator never has anything insightful to say. He or she is usually complicating the obvious. Here's a clip from a past NBA game:

Jerry (the sportscaster, energetically): Iverson takes the feed from Wallace. He splits two defenders, does a 360 spin jump and hammers it home over Ewing!!

Hank (the color, deadpan): That's right, Jerry, what a great play. I think the fact that Iverson jumped higher than Ewing was the key driver in allowing him to score.

Alas! the game ends and we have to listen to the critique of the entire game. Coaches, too, are notorious for not being able to come up with anything substantial to say about the game. Coaches shouldn't carry all the blame for making vacuous comments, though. Reporters simply ask dumb questions. Another gem:

Reporter: Coach, why did your team lose tonight?

Coach Harris: Well, the other team scored more points than we did. I believe that was what gave them the opportunity to win.

Reporter: How will you prepare your team for the next game?

Coach Harris: Ninety percent of the game is mental. We just always have to keep in mind that if we score more points then our opponent, then we will have the best chance to win.

I can avoid watching the pre- and post-game shows, but I can't avoid listening to the color commentary without simply turning the TV off. My wife would love that.