Writer's Lab #3

Q: What kinds of foods do you consider "picnic food" and where do you like to go eat them?

That is a question with an obvious answer. Anybody who knows me well, knows that my favorite picnic foods include shredded wheat, steamed toast, and so-called "iced-cream". There are other foods, of course.

Often, (as often as I can get away from my job as a shooting range target-holder), I take the family out for a picnic on the steps of Town Hall. We will pack a few pillows of shredded wheat, perhaps a small handful of chocolate-covered yogurt beans, and some clam juice, then spread out our blanket right there on the front porch of the Municipal Civic Administration and Waste Water Management Building. (That was the original name, but since the sign painter charged by the letter, the town council decided to name the building the more traditional "Town Hall".)

Now, you may think that this is a rather meager picnic. So what! This is my picnic, not yours. If you want to have your fancy picnic of duck foie gras, black truffles, and merlot that's fine with me! Just don't crowd out my space in front of the mayor's office.

I also enjoy personal picnics during important staff meetings at work. But no one seems to mind, except for my boss and most of my co-workers. But, hey, the security guard couldn't give a rat's fanny that I eat in the conference rooms. In fact, the security guard doesn't even know my name. He is not even invited to read my posts.

Oh, wait. I forgot. I'm not a conference calling, e-solutions, glass ceiling, corporate climbing, cubicle drone kind of guy. I hold up the targets at the shooting range. It's the only job that allows me to sneak away to have picnics on the steps of Town Hall. I tell them that I have to go to the hospital to remove shrapnel from my eyes. Ha! Joke's on them.