Some of my readers may be shocked at the three- and four-letter words I have used in the title of this piece, such as "pie" and "easy". Of course, this is just a play on a well-cliched phrase.
When I lived in Argentina, I was quickly introduced to one of their delicacies. It looked and smelled and tasted just like a regular burrito. Yes, the Argentines simply ripped off the idea from the Mexicans (or whoever came up with it).
As we all know, the word "burrito" is a portmanteau of two Spanish words, "burro" meaning "tortilla," and "ito" meaning "filled with beans and cheese". The Argentines had a different word. I don't actually recall the word, but I do remember that it loosely translated to "donkey pie". Now, the idea of eating pie made out of a donkey didn't sound very appealing to me at first. Hearing the word, and grasping it's translation, my brain immediately conjured up images of farm-fresh cow desserts. Even though it looked and smelled and tasted just like a regular burrito, I was rather suspicious. Even though my taste buds were saying, "C'mon! Eat it! You know it's just regular beans and cheese," my mind was saying, "Ugh! I don't know about this. A donkey? Are you positive that it's not ground-up disease-ridden donkey? You've only been here three days and you've already witnessed tardy mail delivery. Are you sure you can trust these people?"
Turns out I could trust them, and did. My taste buds ruled that day, and I helped myself to another donkey pie.
8.23.2008
8.16.2008
Put Your Pajamas On!!
Action-flick superstar Michael J. "Pudge" Amazon is in trouble. Again. His recent shenanigan took place right on the set of his new film "Pudge Amazon and the Goblet of the Kingdom of the Crystal Dragon Emperor". Pudge is accused of pilfering some very inexpensive and easy to find eco-friendly fluorescent light bulbs belonging to key grip Solomon P. Patterson.
This indiscretion doesn't come as a surprise. Amazon has always been a bit of a kleptomaniac. His Wikipedia entry even says so. Amazon has a long history of stealing small items. When he was seven, Pudge swiped a pack of gum from a convenience store. When he was 10, he stole a glance from a cute little girl in his fifth-grade class. At 13, playing little league baseball, he stole (Duh, professor! I get it. He stole second base. Come on! I've heard that one already.) No, you moron, he stole third base and it didn't make a difference anyway, as his team lost 12-2.
At 16, Amazon began his light bulb stealing habit. By this time, Amazon was well into his acting career, starring in a number of low-budget "talkie" advertisements. Of course, his acting gigs required him to be on the road a lot, staying at many a Super 8 around the country. And Amazon couldn't ever seem to leave a Super 8 without sneaking out a light bulb or two from a lamp or an E-Z Bake Oven.
And so it was with Mr. Patterson's poor bulbs. As I mentioned before, Solomon is the key grip on the set. For those that may not know, a grip is a job title more commonly known as "What the heck is a grip?" You may be asking, "Who cares? Why is Patterson boo-hooing over a few dollars worth of light bulbs?" Patterson tells it this way:
"It's not the value of the light bulbs that's the problem. In fact, I got them all back. Suspicions were aroused when a caterer spotted Amazon walking off the set holding a back labeled 'Stolen Light Bulbs'. The problem I'm having is, well, what's next? Today it's my light bulbs, tomorrow it could be my sandwich, my car keys, my lawn. He's put me on edge to be very wary of what he's doing at all time. And I have a job to do. Which brings up another good point. Not many people know what key grips do. My main responsibility is to..."
Whoa! That's all the time we have for this week. ("But Professor, this is a blog. It's not like you're taking up air-waves time. You can write for as long as you want.") Next week, I will give my belated review of Amazon's last movie, "Pudge Amazon and the Self-Fulfilling Long Named Movie Title".
This indiscretion doesn't come as a surprise. Amazon has always been a bit of a kleptomaniac. His Wikipedia entry even says so. Amazon has a long history of stealing small items. When he was seven, Pudge swiped a pack of gum from a convenience store. When he was 10, he stole a glance from a cute little girl in his fifth-grade class. At 13, playing little league baseball, he stole (Duh, professor! I get it. He stole second base. Come on! I've heard that one already.) No, you moron, he stole third base and it didn't make a difference anyway, as his team lost 12-2.
At 16, Amazon began his light bulb stealing habit. By this time, Amazon was well into his acting career, starring in a number of low-budget "talkie" advertisements. Of course, his acting gigs required him to be on the road a lot, staying at many a Super 8 around the country. And Amazon couldn't ever seem to leave a Super 8 without sneaking out a light bulb or two from a lamp or an E-Z Bake Oven.
And so it was with Mr. Patterson's poor bulbs. As I mentioned before, Solomon is the key grip on the set. For those that may not know, a grip is a job title more commonly known as "What the heck is a grip?" You may be asking, "Who cares? Why is Patterson boo-hooing over a few dollars worth of light bulbs?" Patterson tells it this way:
"It's not the value of the light bulbs that's the problem. In fact, I got them all back. Suspicions were aroused when a caterer spotted Amazon walking off the set holding a back labeled 'Stolen Light Bulbs'. The problem I'm having is, well, what's next? Today it's my light bulbs, tomorrow it could be my sandwich, my car keys, my lawn. He's put me on edge to be very wary of what he's doing at all time. And I have a job to do. Which brings up another good point. Not many people know what key grips do. My main responsibility is to..."
Whoa! That's all the time we have for this week. ("But Professor, this is a blog. It's not like you're taking up air-waves time. You can write for as long as you want.") Next week, I will give my belated review of Amazon's last movie, "Pudge Amazon and the Self-Fulfilling Long Named Movie Title".
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